Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
