Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
