Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i out mim tonsoeep
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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