i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
