I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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