The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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