Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
