I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize