god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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