yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
