i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
