I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's shark week go big or go home
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
