Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Everyone says I win the strip club
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
