Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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