Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
