Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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