Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize