we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
