so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
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i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
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I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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