I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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