He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
