Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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