would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
operation harelip BJ is a go
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
