I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
