I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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