dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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