Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
