it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
