If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize