So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
