five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
