I hate all girls vehemently.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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