you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
