Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
