I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I deserve this hangover.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
