umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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