Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
