i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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