they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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