on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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