Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Drunk is not a location!
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