party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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