just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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