Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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