Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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