just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
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She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
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That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize