did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
