he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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