I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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