Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dignity is for republicans.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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