He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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