sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
