So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
