windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
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