that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
