Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
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We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
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Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize