I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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