About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
