And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
