...so i touched it.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
