She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
As shirtless as possible
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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