she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
