how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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