didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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