I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
