hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
